• FRIENDS • MENTORS • inquiry circles

Forms of Friendships

HOW DO I GET A WISE FRIEND, MENTOR, OR INQUIRY CIRCLE?

(1) BECOME AN ACTIVE PART OF THE COMMUNITY, BE WILLING TO LET PEOPLE IN & LET THEM MATTER

• • • Listen, first and foremost. A relationship without listening cannot develop into a true friendship. Practice listening with your eyes and your heart. Becoming a wise listener is among the most fundamental parts of forming wise friendships. 
    • Practice remembering people’s names. It matters because it shows you see, hear, and value others. It shows you are willing to let someone in and let them matter. 
    • DM/Text: Ask others if they’re coming to the ____ O’clock meeting (it’s an act of service in disguise)
    • Come early, setup, welcome others. Stay late, cleanup, and make sure to sign-up for service roles. Service gives us purpose when feeling purposeless, and hope in times of hopelessness.
    • Try to build up your comfort with sharing during discussion — if that’s hard, try a brief share (such as sharing your gratitude for the meeting space and those in service)
    • Online Meetings: Leave and keep contact info in chat after the Dedication of Merit
    • RD Community Wisdom’s – Developing Wise Friendships Guide

(2) PUT IT OUT THERE

• • • Announce it in (1) meetings or (2) on forums (like a Recovery Dharma Facebook Group.)
    • Expect to hear no before hearing yes — and don’t take no’s personally.
    • Keep on asking – even if people are busy at that time, they could connect you with others also looking.
    • RD Portland’s – Mentorship Guide by PDX

(3) TO FORM INQUIRY CIRCLES: 

• • • Find others who want to meet weekly, for 6+ months, with the goal of completing inquiries
    • Write on the inquiry questions individually and share collectively
    • RD Friends Act’s – The Practice Guide by kris roehling