• FRIENDS • MENTORS • inquiry circles
“Admirable friendship, admirable companionship, admirable camaraderie is actually the whole of the holy life.”FORMS OF FRIENDSHIP
Wise Friends
2 or more friends who offer mutual support and reflections as they work through the RD program.
Mentorship
Mentorship can be done one-on-one or in mentorship circles. Mentors have more experience with the path of renunciation, and offer support and guidance to mentees.
Inquiry Circles
A group of three to ten wise friends who meet weekly in a commitment to complete the inquiries.
View the new Recovery Dharma Inquiry Workbook!
Find community guidance on reordering the inquiry questions.
HOW DO I GET A WISE FRIEND, MENTOR, OR INQUIRY CIRCLE?
(1) BECOME AN ACTIVE PART OF THE COMMUNITY, BE WILLING TO LET PEOPLE IN & LET THEM MATTER
- Listen, first and foremost. A relationship without listening cannot develop into a true friendship. Practice listening with your eyes and your heart. Becoming a wise listener is among the most fundamental parts of forming wise friendships.
- Practice remembering people’s names. It matters because it shows you see, hear, and value others. It shows you are willing to let someone in and let them matter.
- DM/Text: Ask others if they’re coming to the ____ O’clock meeting (it’s an act of service in disguise).
- Come early, setup, welcome others. Stay late, cleanup, and make sure to sign-up for service roles. Service gives us purpose when feeling purposeless, and hope in times of hopelessness.
- Try to build up your comfort with sharing during discussion — if that’s hard, try a brief share (such as sharing your gratitude for the meeting space and those in service).
- Online Meetings: Leave and keep contact info in chat after the Dedication of Merit.
(2) PUT IT OUT THERE
- Announce it in (1) meetings or (2) on forums (like a Recovery Dharma Facebook Group.)
- Expect to hear no before hearing yes — and don’t take no’s personally.
- Keep on asking – even if people are busy at that time, they could connect you with others also looking.
(3) TO FORM INQUIRY CIRCLES:
- Find others who want to meet weekly, for 6+ months, with the goal of completing inquiries.
- Write on the inquiry questions individually and share collectively.
Recovery Dharma Friends Act – The Practice Guide